You know how when we're small we're blissfully ignorant of death, never guessing that there's end to this thing we know of as life. Even the death of our pets at a young age is often no more than a passing sadness - remember Poltergeist when the little girl's bird died and how as soon as it was buried her sadness was gone and she wanted a goldfish? It never occurs to us that one day it might be our body buried, our life ended abruptly and, perhaps, tragically. Most times we don't realize this until we're older, much older.
For me the realization came when I was around twelve or thirteen. I was standing at the end of my driveway, waiting for the bus, and I went to get the paper out of the mailbox like I always did, to read the headlines. And there on the front page was the most horrifying story I'd ever read. A young girl, 14, was found murdered, her head chopped away from her body and buried under a rock. It was at that moment I realized that death could come for me, too. And not when I was 90 and old and had lived a full life. It could come and snatch me - or anyone I loved - at any moment. Worse yet, it could be a horrifying death, not at all peaceful, not surrounded by those who loved you in life but possibly by someone who saw you only as a means to slake their own sick desires. It didn't matter how old you were, how cute you were, or even how good you were. There were no exemptions from death and no guarantee for the kind you hoped for. It was a crapshoot.
So, when did you find out the awful truth?
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As I grew up, my brother was sick with asthma and would go stay at the hospital. I realized that death was close at a young age. He did die at age 21. My grandson died one year ago Monday, and other family members have died. But I don't fear death. I believe I will be with my brother and grandson in heaven.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are right.
DeleteI guess it comes to me in bits and pieces everyday, then I forget it and relish the moment I'm in.
ReplyDeleteI certainly enjoy life more when i don't think about it - but ...it worries me.
Deletei guess i was shattered when a close aunt of mine passed away . i was in grade 8
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to lose someone you love. I think I was 10 when I lost my grandmother. I still miss her.
ReplyDeleteI found out the truth when I was in my teens. I don't think humans in this country face death well. They surround themselves with mysticism and superstition and seek solace within man-made religions which were created by an author who could have written best selling fantasy novels in their day (had they the press to sell them). Death will come for me some day. I hope it isn't this week. When it happens, it happens, and I shall be gone. No afterlife or nothing. Just gone.
ReplyDeletethat's what I'm afraid of.
DeleteI was five when a little friend of mine died in an accident.I was horrified that he wouldn't get to go to kindergarten. And that he would have no more Christmas. No more presents. I still had nightmares two years after it all happened.
ReplyDeleteoh, that's awful! Much too young to be exposed to the horror of death. It was bad enough at 12 but I can't imagine being little.
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